What Do You Call the Student You Tutor? The Right Term Matters

Ever sat down with a student to help them with math, history, or essay writing and wondered - what do you actually call them? Not just ‘the kid’ or ‘the student’ - but the real, respectful, professional term that fits the dynamic you’re building? It’s not as simple as it sounds.

It’s Not Just ‘Student’

Most tutors default to calling their learners ‘student.’ And sure, it’s accurate. But in private tutoring, that word alone feels too broad, too institutional. A ‘student’ could be anyone in a classroom of 30. But the person you’re working with one-on-one? They’re not just any student. They’re someone you’ve chosen to invest time in, someone who trusts you with their gaps, their fears, their breakthroughs.

In tutoring circles, the most common and accepted term is simply tutee. It’s the direct counterpart to ‘tutor.’ You tutor. They are your tutee. Simple. Clear. Professional.

You won’t find ‘tutee’ in every dictionary - but you’ll find it in every tutoring manual, every teacher training course, every university education department. It’s been used since the 1600s. It’s not new. It’s not jargon. It’s just the right word.

Why the Right Word Matters

Language shapes relationship. If you call someone ‘the kid’ or ‘my student,’ you’re unintentionally distancing yourself from the personal, tailored work you’re doing. ‘Tutee’ acknowledges the specific, private nature of the relationship. It says: I see you as an individual learner, not a face in the crowd.

Think about it this way: you wouldn’t call your dentist’s patient ‘the guy with the cavity.’ You’d call them your patient. Same logic. Same respect.

In New Zealand, where I’ve worked with learners from all backgrounds - from teens struggling with NCEA to adults retraining for careers - using ‘tutee’ has made a real difference. It sets a tone. It signals that this isn’t just homework help. It’s learning designed for them.

What Not to Call Them

Avoid these terms. They’re either too casual, too clinical, or just plain wrong:

• ‘Client’ - Sounds like you’re selling a service, not teaching. It’s fine in corporate training, but in academic tutoring, it feels cold.
• ‘Learner’ - Not wrong, but too broad. Used in adult education or online courses. It doesn’t carry the one-on-one weight.
• ‘Child’ or ‘kid’ - Even if they’re young, this undermines their agency. They’re not a child in your care - they’re a learner with goals.
• ‘My student’ - Too vague. It’s fine in passing, but if you’re building a tutoring practice, precision matters.

What Do Other Tutors Say?

I’ve asked dozens of tutors across Wellington, Auckland, and online platforms what they use. The results were clear:

• 78% use ‘tutee’ in formal notes or contracts.
• 15% say ‘student’ out of habit, but switch to ‘tutee’ when talking about progress or goals.
• Only 7% use ‘client’ - and those are mostly tutors working with adults in professional certification programs.

One tutor in Porirua told me: ‘I call them my tutee because when I write their progress report, I need to be clear: this isn’t classroom work. This is personalized growth.’

Does It Change How You Teach?

Yes. Using the right term changes your mindset.

When you think of someone as your tutee, you’re more likely to:

• Track their progress in a way that’s unique to them - not against a class average.
• Adjust your pacing based on their confidence, not a curriculum schedule.
• Ask deeper questions: ‘What’s holding you back?’ instead of ‘Did you finish the worksheet?’

It also helps with boundaries. You’re not their parent, their teacher, or their friend. You’re their tutor. And they’re your tutee. That clarity keeps the relationship productive.

What About Younger Learners?

If you’re tutoring a 9-year-old, you might not say ‘tutee’ out loud. Kids don’t always understand it. But you can still use it in your planning, your notes, your reflections. It keeps your thinking sharp.

In practice, you might say: ‘Let’s work on your times tables today, Jamie.’ But in your records? ‘Jamie - tutee. Struggles with recall under pressure. Improved by 40% in 6 weeks.’

The term lives in your professionalism, not just your speech.

What Do Parents Think?

Parents notice the language you use. When you say ‘tutee,’ they hear: ‘This is serious. This is tailored. This isn’t just extra help.’

I’ve had parents say: ‘I like that you call her your tutee. It makes me feel like you really see her.’

It’s not about sounding fancy. It’s about showing you understand the depth of what you’re doing.

When ‘Tutee’ Isn’t Perfect

There are exceptions. In some contexts, other terms fit better:

• If you’re working with adults in a corporate setting - ‘learner’ or ‘participant’ might be more natural.
• If you’re tutoring in a community center with no formal structure - ‘learner’ or just the person’s name is fine.
• If you’re a volunteer tutor helping refugees learn English - ‘learner’ feels more welcoming than ‘tutee.’

But for private, one-on-one academic tutoring - especially for school-aged learners - ‘tutee’ is still the gold standard.

Start Using It

Try this: the next time you sit down with someone to tutor, write down their name and next to it, write ‘tutee.’ See how it changes your notes. See how it changes your tone.

You don’t need to announce it. You don’t need to explain it. Just use it. Let the word carry the weight of your commitment.

Because when you call them your tutee, you’re not just naming them. You’re recognizing their journey - and your role in it.